I know this topic is very controversial – believe me I have heard it all!
I have always been taught to trust my instincts (thanks to my own wise Mama) and thankfully because of this I have saved myself many hours of needless worrying and prevented a lot of bad situations from happening. As a mother I have learnt very early on that what works for me may not work for everyone and may cause other people to judge me but it does not bother me at all as Jade and I know Benicio better than anyone else.
During the pregnancy I spoke about co sleeping a few times and getting that attachment for the bed but did not end up getting it. I had a cot literally less than a metre away from my bed and assumed that would be the sleeping arrangement. When Benicio was born he did sleep in his own bed (really well in fact) but it was obvious he liked being with us even more.
As the nights went by my fiance and I would take turns saying “oh i miss benicio – lets have him in bed tonight”. This became more frequent as I started back at work and began to miss him so much during the day and wanted cuddle time. We began to get used to waking up and seeing his angel face staring at us. Many time we would both wake up to Ben chatting away letting us know it was time to get up.
Soon enough we stopped putting him into his bed altogether. Co sleeping worked for us. Not only do we enjoy having our family all together but we live in Christchurch that is rife with quakes and I like being next to him to protect him.
For those that argue that its not safe I have to answer that it is indeed safe if you are smart.
If your baby has trouble lifting his/her head its not safe, if you and/or your partner have problems with being heavy sleepers it may not be safe and if you are on any medication (say after having a c section) it may not be for you. But just because it does not work for you/you do not want to co sleep, making the assumption it is therefor bad/incredibly dangerous is ignorant.
The best quote I have found about this subject is from William Sears –
Oftentimes I felt ridiculous giving my seal of approval to what was in reality such a natural thing to do, sort of like reinventing the wheel and extolling its virtues. Had parents’ intuition sunk so low that some strange man had to tell modern women that it was okay to sleep with their babies?
I will never get over how many mothers I have met who go by the book so much they let it override their mothers intuition. One example that happened when Ben was two months old has stuck in my mind so much happened on an incredibly hot summers day. The temperature had reached 30+ degrees and it was so humid. Even though my midwife had told me the other day the amount I should fed my son exactly “oh alicia only fed him 120mls every meal no matter what” I fed Benicio more as he was so thirsty from the heat.
On this day the hospital had a huge influx of dehydrated babies as many mothers played it by the book and only gave their babies the amount whoever had told them was acceptable to give.
Now im not bashing any of these Mama’s at all im merely suggesting had these women been taught to trust their instinct more im sure they would of given their babies much more milk and not had any issues.
So to wrap this up I am co sleeping with Benicio – I am NOT trying to convert anyone else as its every parents right to decide whats best for them. But I do encourage all parents to trust their instincts and stick up for what they believe is right in parenting for their own family.
In the end me co sleeping with my son has been one of the best parenting decisions we have made and the joy has outweighed any uncomfortable sleep I have had.
Because apparently Ben like to kick in his sleep – many, many times during the night!