Tomorrow I hit 34 weeks and cannot believe how fast time has flown by.
With Benicio there were so many appointments and I had so much more time that at any given moment I could of told you how far along I was, the fruit comparison and even the estimated weight.
Now its like “oh wait another week has passed” “when am i due? oh shit next month!”.
I am keeping track as a whole but my days are filled with work or Benicio and it means now six weeks out I am so under prepared in comparison to where I was with Ben.
I mean we have a name, the cot (need to buy a mattress though), car seat and pram but the little things like mittens, binkys and plain onesies are still to be bought.
I also think I still have not fully gotten my head around the fact Ben will no longer be an only child (within the household – he of course has his two half brothers he adores) and that I will have another child to love.
Before I had Ben I could not comprehend how Jade would love another child the way he loved his boys. He always assured me that it was just natural and he had plenty of love and energy to give another child.
It was certainly evident from the moment Ben was born that Jade’s heart just grew bigger to accommodate him and he has been smitten with him since the day he was born yet still loves his older boys.
In a weird way I keep thinking about the line the husband on the show Sister Wives says “love is multiplied and not divided”. Of course he is referring to his millions of wives but I think it must be the case for when you have more children.
I love Benicio so incredibly much and I also love this baby but I think it will be when I first see his face that the reality of it will set in and my heart will open up even more.
For the next 6 weeks (or less who knows) I want to enjoy every part of being a family of three and then just prepare ourselves mentally for the change.
I mean if Bear (yes his name – I will go into detail in my next blog) is anything like his brother I already know it will be an easy transition. And if he is nothing like him then it will be exciting to have a new challenge and learn how to deal with another personality.
Either way from next month on we will barely remember what life was like before having Bear. Benicio will grow up only 19 months apart from his younger brother and I am sure they will be the best of friends.